This year I’ve been advised to enjoy my tree while Mary James isn’t walking.  Next year she will be 15 months old at Christmas and thus able to yank off ornaments, pull the tree on top of herself, yada yada.  Hey, on that principle, shouldn’t I enjoy life in general while she’s not walking and “messing up” everything?  Kidding people.  Only kidding.

So, Ben and I are trying to enjoy the last year of our delicate, loved tree…WAIT did I say delicate?  We have three cats and two dogs over 65 pounds in the house.  The last thing we need is a fragile, “don’t touch, just look” kinda tree.  We don’t have tons of fancy, breakable ornaments, and honestly I work be totally okay if the tree hit the ground.

One would think our two golden retrievers would be the furry havoc wreakers in the house.  Lucy’s tail alone can clear a coffee table, not to mention the damage she can cause with the other 85 lbs of her.  But alas, the dogs could care less about the tree and even the presents.  Our fuzzy, whiskered boarders “Da Cats” are the major stressors to our tree and decor.

Tree Climbing

Two out of our three cats are indoor only.  Our nature boy Mac (relegated outside after the spraying incident) is of course the tree climber.  In fact, when he was a kitten (5 years ago) I would find him asleep IN the tree; the poor branch bending precariously under his weight.  I still find blobs of cat fuzz on the branches when I put it up each year.

Fuzzy Paws the Bow thief

Annabelle’s favorite Christmas tradition is voraciously gnawing bows off the presents.  She collects her little, shiny “trophies” in her lair (or the food bowl/kitty litter room).  I like lair better, much more dramatic don’t you think?

Great.  Not only do I have a deaf cat.  But I have a deaf cat who thinks she’s a raccoon.

The worst part is that when you actually catch her in the act, you can’t yell at her to stop.  Well, you can, and I still do, but she just happily continues chewing and yanking on the poor bow.  All the while staring at the crazy woman waving her arms.

At this point I realize my flailing is not working, so I then gather my senses and properly chunk something at her, a sock, burp cloth, brick, 10 lb weight, whatever is handy.  I mean why walk the 10 ft across the room when I can launch an object at her?  Although, this line of thinking usually backfires as I hit the Christmas tree instead, knocking off ornaments, while Annabelle runs away bow in mouth.

WWF: Tree Rumble ’08

This year the traditional game of “King of the Cat Bed” has been replaced with “Queen of the Christmas Tree.”  This game begins by Annabelle laying under the tree, while Mac and Bella run under the tree and smack her on the head until she gets mad enough to chase them away.  Super fun!  And they’ve found if you run fast enough under the tree, the whole thing shakes and rattles.  Really fantastic effects and you evidently get extra points for knocking off ornaments.

So much for enjoying our tree in peace.  Next year I guess we’ll tie the tree to the wall, and I’m thinking ribbon beats “re-bowing” all of my presents on Christmas Eve.